I have begun to write about Antonio. In my book, “Inside the River,” Antonio is an old man, with piercing blue eyes, who mysteriously happens upon Emma. He tells her about Ana, the story passed down from father to son and to his son and so on. In the first short story of Antonio that I am working on, he is a five year old boy, crying to his father about how mean people are to him because of his eyes. The title of the story is “The Color, Demon.”
It’s an interesting exercise into the human condition. How much of us do we carry from when we were young? How much do we repeat, over and over, in our patterns of behavior and reaction, believing we could get a different outcome…the outcome we had wished for when we were little and didn’t receive? How hard is it to change our patterns, let go of the past, and make decisions and take action solely from our present condition?
As Antonio said:
“If I had understood, Emma. I would….can I start at the beginning?” His hands trembled.
And so, for him, I have started at his beginning so he can make sense, so his actions tell a story, so we can fully appreciate what happens when we hold onto what is no longer. It’s a powerful thing, this ghost of should haves and what ifs and if only…it haunted Antonio. That’s why I wanted to write his book as a collection of interweaving short stories because we all tend to move forward in circles.